When I Died

When I Died

Did I tell you about the day I died?
I have tried to remember it, Lord how I tried.
Was it that first beer when I was thirteen
You know, the beginning, that's what I mean.

Was it later when I toked my very first blunt?
Then it was a sorta cool kind of stunt.
I was about sixteen, as much as I remember
Maybe somewhere around June or November?

Was it when I dropped my first ball of speed?
Grass wasn't enough to fill my need.
LSD, PCP, I tried it all
Is that when the reeper made his first call?

Sex was meaningless as far as love went
It was just another way my time was spent
When love finally found me, I was way too lost
The drugs ruined that too, at the ultimate cost.

I never forgot her, but my long drawn affair
With alcohol and drugs had me so unaware.
My only accomplishment was how good I could lie
And mostly to myself, doesn't that make you cry?

My life officially ended beside the road
Tipped over in my wheel chair, boasting a load
How much I had drunk or taken in dope?
I never was a man who could function and cope

I was still a young man in chronilogical years
But aged very quickly on whiskey and beers
They say you can't have it all, but I didn't have any
Except the heartache, of that there was plenty

Blame, as I did, those who comforted me
It would be only death that would really set me free
I guess that I died a long time ago
And as smart as I was, even I didn't know.

Marian
January 29, 2010
About my departed brother Donnie