Thursday, September 24, 2009


Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of.
Jonathan Swift

Gold

Like there is gold in the rock
in the mountain of the land
Man is the rock in which
the gold vein began

Man shows his weakness
Too often you see
But man's a rock with the gold
Strong or waiting to be

Too many stand down
Not knowing their value
Unaware they are rocks with
The gold running shallow

The gold is the strength
Though man may not know
There only to surface
When he discovers his foe

Marian
September 24, 2009

Let's not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness. James Thurber 1894-1961

Awareness

Was the sky more blue yesterday
Than it will be tomorrow?
Will your past be your worst
Or next week for your sorrow?

Are you still mad about words
Said by someone last week?
Are you afraid for tomorrow
So you don't dare to speak?

Are you rooted in anger
Thrust on you last year?
Avoiding people tomorrow
from yesterday's fear?

Today is important
Not the future or past
To lay the foundation
Not a shadow to cast

Don't dwell on past feelings
Just learn and be aware
What life brings today
It's here and not there

Marian
September 24, 2009

Ch 6 The Killer Within

Chapter 6

“There is no way we can release him to your custody, Mrs. Kelly, the attack was just too violent.” The police sergeant explained. “He’ll need to stay here until he goes before the judge tomorrow morning, at which time bail will be set.”

“You don’t understand, he needs to be home, he needs to be with me.” Bruce’s mom pleaded through tears.

“I understand your frustration, m’am, but the kid is obviously ‘on’ something. We’ll take a blood sample, fix him up with a nice warm meal and a cot for the night, and he’ll do just fine. You really have to understand how violent that attack was on his teacher. You should want him to be where he can come down off whatever made him go off like that.”

“He’s not on anything! She protested vehemently.

“That’s even more reason for us to keep him in custody, by tomorrow we’ll have the results of his drug screening and will have some contacts for you to get him some help.”

“I am all the help he needs, may I talk to him now?”

“As soon as intake is done we’ll take you in there.” The sergeant concluded. “Until then, please have a seat in the waiting area.”

The sergeant knew mothers like this one. Their kids were never to blame, it was always others that ‘made them do it’. Sounds like this kid just might have been using drugs to escape his mother’s claws. The sergeant had no use for coddling and over-protective parents…back in his day kids that age were earning a living already, not socked away in private schools with everything handed to them.

“I have to have a drug test?” Bruce meekly asked the intake officer as the nurse stood by with the syringe and sample tubes.
“It’s just a part of the drill, kid.” Smiled George Zenowski. “Nothing personal.”

“I never take drugs.” Said Bruce quietly.

“No one is saying you are kid, it’s just something’ we gotta do to everyone who comes through here.”

“Then can I go home?”

“Don’t know, son, I just work here. No one lets me make any decisions, I just follow my rules, you ‘ll just follow yours.” George stood by as the nurse drew blood and looked at Bruce as he sat and watched the blood oozing into the tubes. Until that moment the kid’s eyes were dull and lifeless.. The sight of blood nearly lit them up like a neon sign. “Perhaps the kid is just afraid of the sight of blood” George thought to himself before he caught a glimpse of Bruce’s faint smile. Goosebumps rose on George’s arms and he visibly shuddered.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Killer Within

Chapter 1

Another night began as young Bruce Kelly crawled into bed and slid under the covers. Like every night his mother would tuck him in after she urged him to say his prayers. He remembered reciting his prayers from the time he was old enough to have a memory, but that is one of the few things he did remember. It was funny how his life seemed to begin in second grade and nothing but a simple night time prayer would be all that remained of earlier times. Here he was, almost thirteen and he didn’t know a thing about who he was and where he came from. Nothing but a prayer that he didn’t feel it meant a damn thing to him. In fact, the more he had to say it the more revolting it seemed to him. How could there be a God who would let a boy always suffer through the nightmares he endured. The nightmares that interrupted his sleep, left a wet pillow, and rumpled sheets from a seemingly endless night of torturous dreams. And his mother! She was no help at all, so frail and so quick to run crying from the room if he confronted her with questions of his lost childhood.

His sister was younger and it never seemed to bother her that no one talked about the family that was missing in their lives. Why did they not have grandparents? Where, and who, was their father. All they knew was this quiet, sterile little community in which no one ever did anything wrong and the school children were all nearly perfect. Sometimes he would sneak some time to watch a television program that his mother would not condone. The sight of zombies or thrill killers excited him for some reason. He was drawn to blood. Blood so red and warm….blood so inviting to his thoughts.

Bruce shook his head vigorously as if to reject his own images he had conjured. “No wonder I have nightmares!” He admonished himself. He hugged his mother and told her good night as she exited his room to let him sleep. But he never slept for long before the nightmares came.

Chapter 2

“Bruce, get your ass up and get down to breakfast!” Yelled his little sister Hannah.

“You better not let mom hear you saying that, you little witch!” Bruce called from his sweat soaked bed.

“I’m telling mom.” Confronted little Hannah, just six years old and full of herself.

“Suit yourself, and I’ll just have to tell her you called me an ass!”

“Faggot!” She called back to him as she skipped down the hall to the bright yellow kitchen that let in all the sun anyone could bear so early on a school morning. Bruce wondered to himself where she picked up some of the stuff she said. Perhaps her school was not as squeaky clean as the one he attended. Hers was a public school, his was a private boy’s school. Mom would never answer his questions why he had to attend a private school, she just shined him over by telling him it was because he was special and deserved what a private school had to offer. Why was he so special and Hannah was not? She was bright and precocious. Public school was teaching her things she should not be learning…such a potty mouth she had!

Hannah was a baby of eighteen months in the earliest times that Bruce could remember. It was as though he was just created and never existed before then. Mom always kept such a strict watch over both of them. She was barely ever away from them and seemed to act like a prison guard at times. Bruce never knew when to expect mom to pop in on him as he lingered in his room watching his G-rated movies, playing with carefully selected G-rated video games, or reading books carefully selected for children. How Bruce longed to be able to watch the types of movies his friends from school watched or to play video games where he could be an avatar with a sword sharp enough to behead his enemy! Blood was so cool! So freakin’ warm and COOL!

Chapter 3

Hannah babbled on about this friend and that friend she knew from school. She had so many friends, it seemed to Bruce. Most of the kids in private school thought Bruce was a mamma’s boy. He wondered if he was. He yearned to escape the invisible restraints his mother had tethered to him…the proverbial apron strings.

“What’s on your mind this morning, Bruce?” Asked his mother as she gazed at her young son deep in his own world of concentration.

“Nothing much, just thinking about school.” He said as he left his dream world and shoved a spoonful of Cheerios into his mouth. “Mom? Why can’t I go to public school? I could be so much help to you walking Hannah to and from school everyday.”

“Bruce, we’ve been over this a thousand times!”

“But I hate private school!” He protested, then grinned sheepishly “I’m getting to the age when I might want to get to know some girls.”

“Oh, hush!” His mother chided him. “I’m not ready to let some girl get her hooks into my baby boy!”

Hannah was laughing and sing songing, “Brucie wants a girl friend, Brucie wants a girl friend!”

“Damn straight.” Bruce said under his breath.

“What’s that you said?” Asked Mom.

“Uh, I said we’re going to be late…come on Witchy Woman, I’ll help you get your jacket on!” Bruce said to his sister as he got up from the table.

“Don’t call your sister a witch!” Scolded Mom.

“I don’t mean nothing’ by it.”

Hannah had already rushed to the closet to get her jacket and picked up her Sponge Bob lunch pail that sat next to the front door. “Bye Mom!” She called out as she headed for the bus stop just a few hundred feet from their house.

“Mom, can I walk today?” Bruce asked, crossing his fingers.

“No, I’ll drop you off on my way to work.”

“Sonovabitch!” Whispered an exasperated Bruce.

“What did you say?”

I said my foot itches!” Lied Bruce.

Chapter 4

The nightmares had been going on for years. Bruce tried to hide it from his mother because she always had him going to this counselor or that shrink. He was tired of that drill, but he often wondered how a kid so sheltered could have such horrible thoughts wrecking his sleep nearly every night. He found it embarrassing to talk about it because the dreams were so vivid…so vile. He felt so normal during the day, but at night he transformed into someone or something he had never encountered. He thought he was a good kid, but where did he get these evil thoughts?

“Mr. Kelly!” The teacher’s voice boomed and snapped Bruce back to reality.
“Huh? I mean, yes sir?”

“Have you heard a word I have said this morning?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t sleep well last night, sore throat, headache…”

“And I suppose that is why your homework assignment is on the wrong chapter?”

“It is?” Bruce asked, obviously confused.

The classroom of boys broke out into unbridled laughter as Bruce’s face began to redden. “I’m sorry, Mr. Voltz, I’ll do it over if you give me the chance.”

“You march yourself down to the office and see if Principal Woodly thinks I should. I am tired of dealing with your excuses, young man.”

Bruce got up and headed for the door when Mr. Voltz stopped him. “Take your books, I don’t want you back in here today.”

“Yes, sir.” Bruce walked to the door feeling the stare of forty eyes on his back and hearing snide comments from his classmates. They were calling him a loser among other things. He whirled around to face the class and glared at them with eyes so angry they could be shooting blood. “I’m NOT a fuckin’ loser!” He shouted as he hurled his books across the room. Mr. Voltz rushed over and tried to drag him out of the classroom as Bruce grabbed the pointer on the blackboard shelf and swung it with full force into the side of his teacher’s head. Mr. Voltz lost his footing and fell dazed to the floor as several boys ran to subdue Bruce and others ran to get help. The struggle was unbelievable as Bruce seemed to have a power much more intense than any other thirteen year old. It took most of the boys still in the classroom to wrestle him to the floor and keep him from doing anymore damage. The principal arrived to see Mr. Voltz still lying motionless on the floor while several boys held a struggling and cursing Bruce at bay. One of the boys was bleeding profusely from a broken nose which caught Bruce’s attention. Suddenly he stopped struggling and focused on the blood…the warm red blood.

Chapter 5

Bruce sat in handcuffs in the processing room of the local juvenile detention center. He was not crying, in fact he looked completely emotionless as the police officers who brought him in gazed at him intently through the one way mirror. The intake personnel were busy getting his information from his mother, who kept glancing through the glass at her son. She had tried so hard to protect him from his past. She thought she had done everything right by him at great expense to her own well being.

Bruce was a handsome young man who appeared physically more like a junior or senior in high school. His dark hair was close cropped and he wore the typical uniform of today’s teenager when he was not forced to put on his school clothes. Private school was chosen for him because he had lingering problems associated with his past. A past he did not remember, only in his dreams. By morning only the horror of his dreams followed him through the day. He had no idea that his dreams held the key to a dark past.

It was not surprising that it took so many students to take him down after his classroom outburst. Bruce was an athlete who took his training seriously. On the football field he had the reputation as being the hardest hitting linebacker in the conference. His baseball prowess was beyond compare and he would most certainly be sought after for his skills on the diamond. His power with the bat was unsurpassed and he was leading the way to break all the school records. In the summer local sandlot teams surried to get him on their team. It was only his teammates who resented his presence. He was not open and friendly to them and seemed to hold himself above the rest. If they only realized just how much Bruce craved their friendship. The distance he held between other boys and himself was not because he thought he was superior, quite the opposite, he felt vastly inferior. He was missing something important in his life. He didn’t really know who he was or where he came from. All he knew is that he had an overly protective but loving mother and a smart ass little sister who seemed to have the word by the balls.

Bruce continued to sit silently knowing that there were people behind that mirror dissecting him. Perhaps even his mother was there, alternating between he usual disappointment and despair, sadness and anger. His brown eyes were devoid of any sparkle that a person would have. His were like the eyes of a great white shark…lifeless, emotionless. Were his eyes hiding his emotions? God knows he sure displayed a variety of them today!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Remembering 9/11

Believe Me, Patriotism Is Still There

It was all about the horror
When the planes came crashing in
As people's hearts found compassion
Above the violent din

It was all about the patriots
As reality had set in
Aboard a doomed and hi-jacked plane
where their choice would do them in

It was all about the love
for others that had to win
On that fateful day called 9-1-1
When the planes came crashing in

It was all about the bravery
of women and of men
Who made sacrifices on that day
Of the terrorists' mighty sin

It was all about the comfort
Given families within
The circles of those lost that day
When the planes came crashing in

It was all about togetherness
when 9-1-2 was ushered in
And Americans showed their own true colors
and new hope was to begin

To find the aura of patriotism
You only need to look within
And find just what was in your heart
The day the planes came crashing in

MarianJuly 16, 2009
I know we have it within ourselves to find our patriotism and loved for our country. We need not have to look so far back in history to find it. We lived to see what kind of people we were on that fateful day on September 11, when the planes came crashing in.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Minority's Hero

It does not take a majority to prevail but rather an irate, tireless minority keen on setting BRUSH FIRES OF FREEDOM in the mind's of men.

Samuel Adams

1722-1803

The Minority's Hero

They were all aboard his train
as it pulled out of the station
He was meant to be the one
who would lead this mighty nation

But lies began to surface
and a new face was exposed
Who'd think that such an admirable man
was not who we supposed

The few that saw the truth
has set a fire outside
exposing the plan this leader made
and of the liberty he defied

It takes but a minority
to bring the wrongs to light
and convince the vast majority
to return the wrongs to right

It takes heros to stand up and say
the things that we were thinking
And friendless they may be awhile
until the ship is sinking

But the few will man the lifeboats
and welcome everyone on board
Even if it takes awhile
before others reach accord

Marian
September 1, 2009